Journey | رحلة

مؤلم جدا أن تجد نفسك مضطرا أن تراجع حساباتك فجأة و بدون مهلة تستعد فيها لهذا العمل الشاق، و مؤلم أكثر أن تفقد ما وجدته أو ظننت أنك وجدته بعد طول بحث. ها أنت تعود لنقطة البداية بعد رحلة نسيت كم دامت و لم بدأت، و لا يسعك إلا أن تتساءل عن فائدتها من الأساس. ربما هي التجارب و الدروس التي قابلتك في الطريق.

It’s quite painful to find yourself forced to rearrange your life all of a sudden, without a notice to prepare for this tedious task. It’s more painful to lose what you had found or thought you had found. Here you are going back to the start, after a journey whose beginning and motive you have forgotten. You can’t help but wonder what good it was all along. Maybe it’s the experience and the lessons you came across along the way.

و لكن هل يعقل أن يكون هذا كل شئ؟ ماذا حدث؟ من أخطأ و أين؟

But is it possible that this is everything? What happened? Who went wrong, and where?

لن يفيدك اللوم الآن؛ فقد حدث ما حدث و أصبح حقائق ثابتة في تاريخ مدون على أوراق ذاكرتك. هناك كلمات قد تقال سريعا و يظن قائلها أنها تمر مرور الكرام و لكنها ستبقى محفورة هناك إلي الأبد.

Blame won’t be of use now; what’s done is done and it’s now a fact written on the pages of your memory. Some words may be said quickly, their speaker thinking they would just pass by, but they will stay there forever.

تنظر إلى الماضي فتشمئز نفسك من هذا المسخ الذي كنت عليه، و لا تعي إنك بعد بضعة أعوام ستنظر لتلك اللحظة بنفس العين.

You look at the past and get disgusted from the monster that once was you, not realizing that a few years from now you will look at this very moment with that very eye.

عجيب هو الإنسان، و هو الثابت المتغير.

Weird is the human; the variable constant.

In The Past

Why are we “programmed” to be lazy even though we know achievements and success feel good? Would it have been better if technology had not advanced as much? I feel that people in the forties or the fifties had much more time on their hands than we do now; or at least this is what their stories make me feel, even though they slept early.

Maybe it’s because they didn’t have cellphones and Internet connections? There weren’t much distractions, so there was time to read and study, and time to spend with family and friends face to face; not on Skype or Facebook chat. New music was still good (Alice Cooper appeared in the sixties, mind you), and cars were fantastic. Everything was simple, unlike nowadays.

Patisserie Délices / Casino Rouchdy in Alexandria (1922)

His Highness King Farouk, King of Egypt & Sudan (1937) . . . Yes, this was our king one day!

I sometimes wish I were born in the fifties. I would have been twenty one years old in the seventies. A twenty one year old then knew much more information than I do now (by quantity, at least). That is despite my access to the Internet.

I think that subconsciously knowing that you can get the information any time you need it makes you not look for it. Or maybe they were more curious back then? I don’t know, but I am sure books are more appealing than screens, at least for me.

I’ll leave you with more pictures of the once beautiful Egypt. The link to the Facebook page I got them from can be seen on all the pictures.

Fouad St. in Alexandria, in the forties.

Sidi Bishr beach in Alexandria in the sixties. I assure you, you do NOT want to see how this looks like in 2013; especially in holidays!

Omar Al Sharif as Che Guevara in 1962. . . These were the latest movies back then and these were the actors.

Sa’at Al Zohour (Clock of the flowers) in Alexandria (1981). . . It looks so dead now, much dirtier, and I don’t remember seeing this clock working since the nineties maybe!

Tidbits (April 2013)

Tidbits used to be a feature I made up to post the little things I write and/or pictures I take that are not big or important enough to form a post on their own. Now it’s mostly (but not exclusively) a monthly compilation of some of my posts on Facebook and Twitter (without emoticons, but with errors fixed).

Warning: Some contents might be 18+ so read at your own risk!

2

~ Surely he didn’t know, as he peed in the middle of the public road, that he started the spark of an article in someone’s head! (Twitter, translated)

~ We are used to being afraid of being happy. . . (Twitter, translated)

4

~ Could time stop a little bit as I recollect my thoughts and gather what’s been scattered of them on this damned road? (Twitter, translated)

6

~ It seems that from the properties of our current century, people don’t want to sit with people in “real” gatherings. . . (Twitter, translated)

8

~ If Heinz ketchup is 100% natural tomatoes as the ads claim, how come it doesn’t even remotely taste like tomatoes? (Twitter)

15

~ Isn’t it shameful when a young one like you sits on her behind and leaves the elderly standing? (Twitter, translated)

19

~ Some people need to be reminded from time to time that the world doesn’t belong to them alone! (Twitter, translated)

22

~ That moment when people complain to you from problems that you too have, and all you can do is tell them that it will be alright! (Twitter, translated)

23

~ The atheist who insults religions is like the extremist who insults atheism; both are more ignorant than one another because one of them is entitled freedom of belief and the other’s religion respects this freedom! (Twitter, translated)

يوم الخميس

يوم الخميس! عيد ميلاد – و في مقولة أخرى زواج – إبليس! إنها نهاية الاسبوع التي ينتظرها الجميع، كل لسبب في نفسه.

أذكر أيام التعليم الثانوي عندما كان معظم الزملاء ينتظرون يوم الخميس للذهاب إلي النادي حيث المحادثات التافهة و الأحلام الطائشة التي تدور عادة حول الشبان و الشابات و من “يحب” من. لم يعرفوا وقتها المعنى الحقيقي السامي للحب.

كم كنت أكره تلك الأجواء! في جميع الأحوال لم أكن أذهب إلى النادي إلا مع والدتي في الصباح، عادة للاستفادة من مكتب الخدمات.

الآن و قد قاربت على الانتهاء من التعليم الجامعي، أصبح يوم الخميس يمثل لي الهروب من العالم و العودة إلى القوقعة القديمة الآمنة. أنا لا أدعي أن المنزل هو أهدأ مكان في الوجود و لكن على الأقل اعتدت أهلي و اعتادوني، و لا حاجة لي أن أراعي جلستي أو كلامي هناك.

لن أنكر أيضا محاولاتي قدر المستطاع أن أستغل هذين اليومين للحاق بالمناهج و المقررات، لذلك لا يمكن أن نصف نهاية اسبوعي بالأجازة المطلقة؛ و لكنه ما زال هروب من العالم “إبن الستين كلب” هذا!

كتبت هذا الكلام في عصر يوم خميس. أغلقت استقبال هاتفي المحمول و امتنعت عن الظهور على مواقع التواصل الاجتماعي. هذا أقرب ما يمكنني من الاختفاء؛ فليحترق العالم و لو لبضعة ساعات!

Tidbits (March 2013)

Tidbits used to be a feature I made up to post the little things I write and/or pictures I take that are not big or important enough to form a post on their own. Now it’s mostly (but not exclusively) a monthly compilation of some of my posts on Facebook and Twitter (without emoticons, but with errors fixed).

Warning: Some contents might be 18+ so read at your own risk!

2

~ Obviously, when I treat people normally they think it’s special treatment, while those who get a special treatment think it’s just normal! (Facebook)

3

~ I wish there was a way to measure emotions, so people would know how much they like, hate, or hurt one another. The matter is so relative and just needs some numbers to define everything. (Facebook)

7

~ It’s not wrong to dream even if your dream is wrong, as long as it’s inside your head and you’re hurting nobody with it but yourself. . . (Twitter, translated)

Beauty of the Beast! ♥
(Image credit goes to le monde fantastique)

8

~ If you think you have nothing to be grateful for, at least be grateful for the privacy of your own mind! (Twitter)

Image credit unknown.

11

~ Don’t ask me, because I don’t know. And when I know, I probably won’t tell. So don’t ask me anyways. (Twitter)

12

~ Joy leads to selfishness while agony generates empathy and a better perception of the world. Compare the number of sad people talking about happiness with the number of happy ones talking about sadness. (Twitter)

~ Our responsibility for what we say compared to our age falls under a bell-shaped curve. (Twitter)

~ You only see a bit of the ones you don’t know, and they only see what you want to show them, and this is more than enough. (Twitter, translated)

13

~ Even when you’re away from people, your mind will be there to play tricks on you. (Twitter)

17

~ Eating nostalgic candies is better than eating regular candies! (Twitter)

My grandfather used to buy us these, so now whenever I find them in a store I buy them. May his soul rest in peace. (Image credit goes to katjes.de)

19

~ I hope that I’ve not yet (and never would) come to the day where I’m doing the things I blamed others for, and that’s not for my own sake. (Twitter)

20

~ Don’t you just hate it when Excel does that? (Facebook)

21

~ A little taste of heaven; smoked salmon cake!

27

~ I’m not ashamed to admit that some Arabic songs have good lyrics, and that I do in fact listen to them. (Twitter)

~ There’s so much stuff to do that I’ve to write it down to avoid forgetting anything. The problem is that I forget to check the list itself. (Twitter)

~ Contrary to popular belief, engineering and love do mix. I just opened a book titled “Advanced engine technology” and found this in the dedication:

To my long-suffering wife, who has provided support and understanding throughout the preparation of this book.

(Facebook)

~ Sometimes you know your mind is making stuff up, but you choose to believe it anyways! (Twitter)

~ That moment when someone is telling you stuff that’s so interesting that you stick your face to the screen! (Twitter)

29

~ Every time I look for something on Google for a college research, I end up on HowStuffWorks reading weird things! (Twitter)

30

~ There are some beautiful things we like to talk about, and beautiful things we like to keep to ourselves because speech would ruin them! Looks for these things and never lose them! (Twitter, translated)

31

~ If you live for yourself people won’t like it and they will call you vain, and if you live for people, whatever you do won’t be enough for them! The result is the same! (Twitter, translated)

Subconscious

Over the years, I have discovered that the subconscious is like an extremely patient friend who only gets up and takes the lead when they are fed up with one’s cowardly take on life.

I read somewhere that our decisions are usually already made and stored there, so I guess that the part where we think we are “deciding” or “making our minds up” is just a stage of confusion where exterior factors affect the conscious mind and steer it away from the ready-made decision of the subconscious.

So, as we are used to our conscious mind and its – usually poor – judgement, we are often surprised by those ready-made choices and thus tend to deny them. These are the moments when we find ourselves saying things like “I don’t know what I want!” or “I still didn’t make my mind up!”

Well, guess what! You most likely already did; you just need to accept it consciously.

It seems to me that many life decisions are made like normal opinions. When you taste a new food or drink, in example, you almost instantly know whether you like it or not. You don’t take time to decide if it’s okay to like it, or don’t take into account external factors such as its price or what your best friend thinks of it. You just taste it and you either like it or you don’t. It’s as simple as it can be.

I think we know everything we want, but are just hindered by our refusal – or fear – to believe.

Another thing that hinders the process is thinking about possibilities: “What if I choose A now, only to find out later that I should have chosen B? What about option C?”. . . It’s like there are many people inside our heads, and each of them thinks they know it all and have it all together.

Here’s the catch; life is teamwork between you and yourself. These people need to come to terms with each other in order to become one and agree on something other than disagreeing.

Oh, and one last thing: Don’t be afraid to believe!

Guilt

Guilt; this power that consumes us, sometimes to the point of no return. I both pity and envy those who can’t feel it.

Sometimes, your mind will take you to a whole new level of imagination, and you start to feel guilty for things you assumed others will blame you for. But you could also be paranoid and blowing things out of proportion.

Why does the brain do that? Is it the constant fear of judgement, the ever-growing need to be flawless, the never-ending quest for perfection?

Those streams of untamed thoughts can make nights rather unpleasant, and I sometimes wonder if this war against oneself is no more than a twisted form of masochism.